Handling Sales Rejection

By Mershon Niesner, PCC, CPCC
Professional Certified Coach
Author of Ribbons of Love – Affirmations for Abundant Living
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Handling rejection is probably the major stumbling block or challenge for entrepreneurs. We all wish that the answer would be "yes" all of the time. We doubt ourselves, our product/service, our approach, and sometimes even our decision to strike out on our own when we're rejected.

Many people try listening to motivational and sales tapes, read books, watch sales videos. . .all to no avail. It seems like these things always tell you to be positive and not to take things personally. I don't know about you, but this always makes me feel even worse. I feel that I'm weak, "less than" or wimpy because I'm truly upset about a lost sale.

There is a way to feel better and move forward with your sales goals. It takes being good to yourself and paying attention to how you feel. Are you ready for that?

According to Norm Ephraim, Ed.D. a Boston psychologist and author of Mood Shifting: Understanding and Transforming Your Negative Moods, "What really helps you to handle rejection is to recognize that there is a part of your mind that always takes disappointment seriously. This part connects us to childhood emotional feelings of insecurity. Any disappointment, frustration, and loss will make us feel anxious and small. This is what I call a 'child state.' The key to handling rejection is to have compassion for such young feelings. All too often, people are self-critical when they feel vulnerable. For instance they say, "Why am I making such a big deal out of losing that sale?' This only makes us feel bad."

What really works, says Dr. Ephraim, is when we can say, "Look, this was a disappointment and it 'hooked' child feelings in me. OK, so how can I best take care of myself to get back on the horse and get going again?"

Self-compassion and active coping can have amazingly positive effects. Accept and sympathize with your feelings of rejection.

COACHING CHALLENGE: The next time you're about to make a sales call, reassure the child within that you will be kind to yourself no matter what the result
of the call. When you do experience rejection (if you make enough calls, you surely will), say to yourself, "Rejection really feels crummy. I feel like I was personally rejected, not just my sales offer. I know it's ok to feel this way though. . .it's just natural."

When you're ready, get out there and make another call! Go ahead, you can do
it!

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